


Happy That I'm Here

by Syrus07



Category: Be More Chill
Genre: Eventual Meremy, Jeremy's totally obvious crush, M/M, Michael's 80s-90s Obsession, Michael's Mysterious Past, post-musical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-25
Updated: 2017-04-30
Packaged: 2018-10-23 19:00:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10725267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syrus07/pseuds/Syrus07
Summary: Michael has a hard time telling Jeremy something about himself, so he resorts to dropping hints. It's just up to Jeremy to put the pieces together before he decides that he's just going crazy.





	1. A Return to... Normalcy?

**Author's Note:**

> Title From "Before It's Over" from Dogfight  
> This is just something I talked with richardgoranski on tumblr. I won't say too much, just be ready for a surprise.

Michael had been acting off and not “I’m still mad at you” off, but something that lent itself to even more tension between the two best friends. Jeremy hadn’t thought it was possible to have more tension between them, with the Squip’s help, they’d just had the worst fight of their friendship, but this wasn’t a fight. If anything Michael was being more open and spending even time with him, and then there were the questions.

Jeremy had always know Michael had gaps in his pop culture knowledge. It came with the territory of his personal aesthetic, but he’d never expected it to have gone as far as it did. The way Michael had started speaking made it seem as if his parents had decided to raise him as a walking time capsule from the moment of his birth.

“Hey, Jere!” Michael called out as he skidded down the staircase into Jeremy’s basement, only stopping when he threw himself in the general direction of a beanbag. “Jenna was talking about this show earlier and I was wondering if you knew anything about it. She was making this huge deal about me not getting her reference.” He huffed and grabbed the Player 2 controller. “It’s not that big of a deal that I don’t know something.”

“You’re a genius. Of course, it’s a big deal.” He chuckled as Michael flushed with embarrassment. He always got flustered when people called him smart or recognized his intelligence. “What show was it?”

He logged on and started playing before responding, “This thing called Hannah Montana. She was talking about Miley Cyrus and her part on the show, and like I know her; I don’t live under a rock; I just never knew her before she was swinging demolition equipment into the patriarchy.”

Jeremy turned to him, ignoring his avatar dying on the screen, “You never saw Hannah Montana? How did you get through Elementary School without seeing anything but Hannah Montana or Miley Stewart?”

“I thought her name was-”

“It’s her character.” Jeremy brushed off the adorable, scrunched up face Michael made and continued his tirade. “You had to have seen girls in the t-shirts, or heard the song- I’m not singing it- Everyone watched it.” He chuckled, reminiscing on the fads of the early 2000s. “I remember, I had the biggest crush on Mitchel Musso. Jenna used to always give me his pictures from those teen magazines that her sister bought. Well him and Cole Sprouse… and Demi Lovato.”

Michael nodded along to him, “Demi Lovato, she’s the skyscraper girl right? But who’s the other guy? His name sound familiar.”

The only thing that stopped Jeremy from really judging his friend was that these were all Disney Channel people. Maybe Michael just hadn’t been into Disney as a kid. Sure it didn’t explain how he was completely clueless to even the title of Hannah Montana, but it still could work. “So were you a Cartoon Network or Nickelodeon kid?”

“Well I watched a bunch of Disney. You know me and cartoons.” Michael had been known to binge Gravity Falls and Stephen Universe and basically any other cartoon that could be geared towards their age group, “I used to be able to quote the Ducktales movie by heart. Plus there was Chip ‘n Dale, Goof Troop, Darkwing Duck. I watched Smurfs, but I think that was NBC.”

There went Jeremy’s only reasonable explanation and frankly he didn’t want to think about unreasonable explanation yet. “That’s cool. You know, they’re rebooting Duck Tales, right? The new cast is awesome.”

“Shit, seriously!” He paused the game grinning like a lunatic and pulled out his phone, “Alright, screw this, we’re watching trailers and all that shit.” With that the strangeness dissipated and they were back to just joking around in his basement. Two teenagers with no strange pasts or supercomputers in their brains just having fun watching anthropomorphic ducks go on adventures.


	2. Game Boys Always Win

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael is normally a garage sale king, but this time he stumbles upon something particularly spectacular. Jeremy just wished that he understood why.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, those Murphys, but not really.

The tables were piled high with everything the Murphy’s didn’t want to take with them when they moved away. Everything that had been previously abandoned in the attic or basement was strewn across the their front lawn and covered in price tags. A family’s impact on the town reduced to how much their neighbors were willing to spend on their unwanted former possessions. Jeremy hated garage sales.

Michael, on the other hand, loved them. He ran up and down the aisles of Mr. Murphy’s baseball trophies and Mrs. Murphy’s old coats, scouring every pile of chachkies and knick-knacks for something worth buying. His eyes lit up every time he saw some family heirloom that piqued his interest. Within five minutes of entering the sale, he had a crate of CDs under his arm and a few old T-shirts piled on top because “They’ll make a great blanket,  _ Jeremy _ . Just feel how soft they are.”

He’d stumbled upon a pile of electronics and immediately he shouted. “Dude! I found the Holy Grail!” He held a first generation Game Boy up ala Baby Simba, all Circle of Life, drawing the attention of Mr. Murphy himself. His presence was probably the only thing that stopped him from belting out the Hallelujah Chorus right then and there.

“I see you boys found that relic, still in perfect condition though.” He chuckled in a way that Jeremy had always just associated with dads. In fact, a dad was probably the best way to describe Mr. Murphy. When TV shows were casting parents for a new teen show, they probably dreamed of Mr. Murphy walking through the door of the audition room.

“I can tell.” Michael sounded dazed, almost transfixed by the device in his hands, but he was still too polite to do keep staring at it as he spoke to the older man, “ Where did you guys get this?” His eyes flicked to the Murphy’s son who was sitting at the makeshift register and looked like the only thing he would do with a Game Boy was set it on fire.

“My younger cousin had it from when he was a kid and he passed it on to Connor when he was old enough.” He joined Michael in watching his son for a moment, “He never really played with it.” He sighed, but instead of dwelling on whatever underlying issue was there, in true dad fashion, he switched around the conversation to include Jeremy. “I figured you boys would be more into the newer stuff.”

Jeremy laughed and nudged his friend’s shoulder. “Out of date is sort of Michael’s thing. Especially out of date video games. If there’s one in a four mile radius, he’ll know.”

Mr. Murphy nodded thoughtfully. “You know I might have a GameCube set aside for tomorrow. Would you boys be interested in that?”

Michael tore his eyes away from the Game Boy to nod frantically. “Yeah, yes, definitely!” He was vibrating with excitement as Mr. Murphy turned to leave, and he turned all that energy on Jeremy. “Holy Shit! I’ve never had a GameCube before!” His face was split into a blinding grin. “I’ve wanted one for so long, and I’ve just never found one.”

“Seriously?” Jeremy was shocked. He’d had a GameCube when he was little. Well, it had originally been his dad’s but he’d used it more. “Were you more of a PlayStation kid or something?” PlayStations had been older. Since Michael had started his vintage phase early in his childhood with 80s cartoons, he’d probably gone with the older console.

He just shrugged, “I guess. I just sorta skipped over GameCubes.” The cryptic comment avoided scrutiny when Mr. Murphy came back out with the system and pulled Michael into a separate conversation. It wasn’t the only off comment that Michael made regarding old tech. As Connor rang them up, Michael said something about his first Game Boy, now completely avoiding to topic of GameCubes, that struck Jeremy as strange.

“You know, my mom wrestled another woman for one of these.” He chuckled like it was fond memory, something rare when it came to the Mells. Normally when his parents came up during a conversation, Michael quickly shut it down with something about them being homophobic assholes. So Jeremy stayed quiet and just listened to the good side of the female Dr. Mell. “I’d wanted it so bad that it was the only thing on my Christmas list. The next day she came home with a long scratch down her cheek, a ripped sleeve, and a bird’s nest for a hairdo, but there was a Game Boy under the Christmas Tree that year.”

Jeremy laughed gently, “For all that trouble, why didn’t you just get a DS? They have better graphics, anyway.” It was a soft kind of teasing, something he knew would get Michael riled up, but not too much.

“Shut your whore mouth.” He replied, handing his money over to a now laughing Connor. “This is one of the first personal gaming systems. This right here is technological history, so watch yourself.”

“Alright.” he huffed, “It was never about the historical significance.”

“It? What it?” Michael asked, knitting his eyebrows together

Jeremy grabbed one of the bags and huffed, “The whole 80s/90s thing. You never said it was about the history of it.”

“It’s not, well sort of, but not really.” They walked for a bit in silence before Michael decided to elaborate. Jeremy decided not to comment that he waited until they were out of earshot of the garage sale. “I’ve just always loved that time period. I guess it’s not history, maybe just nostalgia. I miss the 80s and 90s and-” he took a deep breath, “and part of me wants to go back.”

Jeremy was stunned into silence. He couldn’t tell if that was some sort of joke or a serious comment, and if it was a serious comment, he didn’t know what it meant. It sounded like there was something wrong with Michael, or at least something off. He wished he knew what, that way he could help him or something. “Well, I think it’s cool.” He smiled over at his best friend, “So, I conceded. Game Boys are cooler than DSs. Now let’s get this stuff back to your place so we can play…” he riffled through the bag for a game, “Oh god, Smash Bros.”

“What?” Michael laughed at the sudden shift in Jeremy’s voice. Not that Jeremy blamed him. Smash Bros was Jeremy’s favorite game and Melee was arguably the best version of it.

“This game is the greatest video game ever made. So pick up the pace, I need to kick your ass with Kirby.”

The tension dissipated in Jeremy’s excitement and haste, but he wasn’t going to just brush off Michael’s comments this time. There was something going on and Jeremy was determined to figure out what it was.


	3. Unintentional Eavesdropping Leads to New Jersey Teen's Mental Decline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new teacher has the answers that Jeremy needs, but he might not be ready to hear them.

Jeremy had never seen Michael look like that. He was just standing in the doorway of their history class, a statue of the man he really was, completely fixated on their new teacher. The man didn’t seem worthy of this type of behavior though. He looked like a normal guy, maybe a little young, but he was probably in his early thirties. He was just an average guy.

“Michael?” He asked carefully. Things had been weird lately, but this sort of behavior wasn’t something that could fly under the radar. “Hey, are you okay?”

He snapped out of his trance at the sound of Jeremy’s voice. “Yeah, yeah.” He fought against his eyes to force them to focus on Jeremy, “I’m fine. I’m just gonna skip this period. Maybe spend it napping in the nurse's office or…” He trailed off, but Jeremy got the point. With one last glance at the new teacher, Michael was gone. It was a testament to how shaken he was that he didn’t invite Jeremy along with him, and it made the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach worse. 

Mr. Baker was a little awkward and spent the entire first class playing “get to know you” games. It was strange for a junior year history class, but it was enlightening. The class learned that he was from a small town on Long Island; he’d been married for ten years to an amazing woman named Amanda; and he was more Jewish than Jeremy. Or at least he seemed to be. He’d talked about his religion for a bit when he said that one terrible moment he was willing to share with the class was when his best friend went missing a week before his bar mitzvah, a portion of the class hadn’t really know what that was. Despite being a bit of an open book, Mr. Baker seemed to be an all around decent guy. Nothing about him was off putting enough to warrant skipping the period. Jeremy racked his brain trying to figure out why Michael had ran, until Mr. Baker took attendance at the end of class.

After spending 40 minutes learning everyone’s name, he was positive that he could take attendance without having to look at their school pictures. He got through half the class, thirteen people, before he stopped dead in his tracks. 

“Michael Mell….” his voice was strained and terrified, scanning the room for the missing student. “He’s absent isn't he.”

Jeremy was really the only person who knew him. So it was considered his responsibility to tell the teacher what was going on, “I think he’s in the nurse’s office? Said he wasn't feeling well.”

“He’s in the building.” For a brief moment, Mr. Baker looked like he was going to run down to the nurse’s office just to see Michael himself. Instead he leveled a glare at Jeremy, “Please make sure Mr. Mell is in class tomorrow. I’m going to need to speak with him.” He wasn't threatening or even slightly intimidating, but the sheer desperation in his eyes made Jeremy feel like he had to comply.

Thankfully, Michael didn't need to be convinced. The moment Jeremy told him about how Mr. Baker reacted he cursed under his breath and said he’d definitely come to class the next day. He had to “see how crazy” he really was. But when he got there, he looked like he was just as nervous and freaked as Mr. Baker had been.

“Michael.” It was soft and immediate, the moment Mr. Baker laid eyes on him, “You look just like your father.” 

For some reason that comment shattered Michael’s smile. He’d had this little half quirk of his lips that made Jeremy smile as well, but with those few words it disappeared. Jeremy knew that Michael didn’t think much of his dad. He still respected him though, enough to not be offended that people could compare them. Something didn’t click in Jeremy’s head. 

The rest of the class had Michael and Mr. Baker making terribly uncomfortable eye contact. Not inappropriate, but Mr. Baker looked like Michael was some sort of “find the difference” picture with his father and Michael looked like Mr. Baker was the Watson to his Sherlock and he’d laid out all the information for him to come to the right solution. Jeremy wished he had all that information, that Michael was able to give him a meaningful glance that could connect all of the dots he had.

“Hey, Jere, I’m going to talk to Mr. Baker after class. I’ll meet you at that pizza place you always like.” He sent a small smile back at him that calmed Jeremy enough to nod and watch him walk to the front of the room and take the desk next to Mr. Baker’s. They talked while the rest of the class chatted amongst themselves, both of them growing more emotional, but never raising their voices. That didn’t stop Jeremy from hearing a snippet of their conversation as he left. 

“Listen, Brett. I’m sorry I missed your Bar Mitzvah.” Michael sighed and looked down at the wood of the desk, his fingers twirling his headphone wire. “I just couldn’t stay there. My parents-- They were homophobic assholes and I had to leave before the either kicked me out or… or did something.”

Jeremy’s heart lodged in his throat and he scurried away from the private moment the two men were sharing. He thought Michael’s parents were away somewhere. Michael had said that they started leaving town a lot when he came out to them, but they claimed they still loved him. Michael said they still talked. Michael never said that he ran away for his own safety and Jeremy felt so ashamed that he’d missed it. The whole walk to the “restaurant,” a generous term for the barely legal health hazard that they frequented, was consumed by him going over all of the times that he should have realized something was wrong, but didn’t. 

It wasn’t until he stepping inside that it really hit him. Michael had apologized to Mr. Baker, a man in his thirties, for missing his bar mitzvah. Michael was implying that he had been invited to the man’s thirteenth birthday party/ Jewish rite of passage at least twenty years ago and Mr. Baker had just nodded. 

For the first time since this whole thing with Michael started, Jeremy had an actual answer for his friend’s strange words and behavior. He didn’t want it, though. He couldn’t accept it. Michael wasn’t...he couldn’t be a… Jeremy sighed and stopped trying to process this. He couldn’t, not until he heard the words directly from Michael’s mouth. And even then he might just call him crazy. 

“What’s got you all freaked?” Michael’s voice scared him and made him jump a few feet off the ground. “You look like you got stuck trying to figure out a paradox again.”

Jeremy laughed nervously, but his friend’s presence still calmed him despite being the source of his stress, “Yeah, just trying to figure out when Mr. Fails-three-tests-a-quarter-just-to-keep-his-grade-out-of-the-90s decided to become a teacher’s pet.” It might not have been a perfect comment, and Michael did get a look in his eyes that almost seemed like he knew what Jeremy was doing, but it still broke the tension enough to let them continue their lunch period with their usual ease. Jeremy would just have to deal with his own insane conspiracy theory about Michael some other time.


	4. Every Crazy Question Has An Equally Insane Answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy gets two answers that he's wanted for a long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I might make this into a series. I certainly have enough ideas for it. but for now, he's the answers you've all been waiting for.

Jeremy didn’t want to focus on Michael. Well, he was usually focusing on Michael, but not like this. His mind couldn’t stop looking at every strange comment Michael had ever made. Each one added to the, frankly, insane idea that had taken shape in Jeremy’s head. It wasn’t one that particularly made sense, but it was one that just wouldn’t leave him alone. 

The evidence kept piling up. Just looking at the past few days, he had learned that Michael had a gap in his knowledge that spanned from 2000 to 2010, he’d owned vintage video games as far back as six-years-old, and he apparently had known Mr. Baker for a long time. The conclusion would’ve been obvious if this had been some cheesey 80s scifi romcom. Not that Jeremy would cast him and Michael in an 80s Romcom… not that he wouldn’t either, but that was besides the point. The point was that things like this didn’t happen in real life.

But then again, supercomputers didn’t try to take over high schools in real life.

Still, Jeremy wouldn’t allow himself to believe any of this insanity. He just wished he could stop himself from thinking about it. Especially while sitting in history class and watching Michael make strange eye contact with Mr. Baker. Especially when Michael met him for lunch with a new house key on his chain and his old apartment one missing. It was ruining his time with him, all of Michael’s dorky 80s slang and weird hipster jokes now had an undertone of secrecy and it made it hard for Jeremy to just smile and laugh like he normally did. 

“What’s been going on with you?” Michael asked one night. They’d been spending more time at Jeremy’s since Michael was apparently moving out of his apartment. Something Jeremy was relieved about despite believing it had something to do with Mr. Baker and that new key. “You haven’t been yourself in weeks.”

Jeremy didn’t make conscious decision to have this conversation now, he hadn't even decided if this was a conversation worth having, but his mouth had other ideas. “Well, I’m not the only one.”

Michael started, “What are you talking about? I’ve been me.” He looked adorably confused, but Jeremy wouldn’t let himself get sidetracked for once. 

“No, you’ve been making weird comments about video games and tv shows and have some sort of connection to Mr. Baker. I don’t know what’s going on with you anymore.” He laughed hysterically, not as in he found it funny, but as in he wasn’t exactly in control of it. “What? Are you Marty McFly or something?” 

It had just sort of slipped out, but left them staring awkwardly at each other. Michael’s mouth hanging open in shock. Neither of them said anything for a long while. Jeremy too surprised at his own words, Michael shocked but something unreadable had crossed his face. 

“Actually, yeah.”

Jeremy knew the sound of a computer shutting off in his head and he was pretty sure he just heard it again. His brain had decided to go offline. He said he wouldn’t believe this until Michael confirmed it, and here Michael was confirming it, and Jeremy wasn’t believing it. “Bullshit.”

“What?” Michael was somehow even more confused.

“Bullshit! Michael this is crazy. This is insane!” he ran a hand over the back of his neck, “People don’t just do--  _ That!” _

He sighed and turned away from Jeremy, “Well, I did. My parents were these crazy smart scientists who figured out how to do it, and when I ran away,” He shrugged, “It just seemed safer to go a different type of far. Maybe things would be better.” Jeremy knew he was really out of it, but he knew that Michael was looking up at him when he said, “And things are.”

“Oh. Oh.” he tensed and sighed, this was a huge reveal. This was Michael telling him that he was ridiculously abnormal in the same way that Jeremy was, but Jeremy could really focus on that. He really tried to. “How has it taken until now for me to realize?”

“I’m good at pretending. After the Squip thing, I thought you were ready to know, so I stopped. I told you stories about my past and asked you questions I’d normally google and you picked up on the history between me and Brett,” Jeremy didn’t know who he was, so Michael elaborated, “Mr. Baker, we were best friends growing up. So, when he found out I was living alone in the apartment, he and his wife asked me to move into their spare room.”

Jeremy started, he knew that there had been something happened, but somehow the truth was stranger when laid out in front of him. “You missed his bar mitzvah. You know, that fucked him up.”

“Yeah, we weren’t the most popular people in our school. So me not being there didn’t give him many options of people to talk to.” Michael sighed and flopped back on the beanbag chair. “Kinda like us.”

They laughed. Just laughed and Jeremy felt that they were going to be okay. He bumped Michael’s shoulder and smiled. “Thank you for telling me, and trusting me despite everything.”

Michael returned the gesture, “Hey, you’re my best friend. Of course, I had to tell you.”

“Still.” Jeremy didn’t want to realize that they were pretty close, practically sharing one chair, “Thanks.” his eyes flicked slightly lower than Michael’s eyes, but that didn’t mean anything. He was just very interested in his friend’s mouth, what he was saying and all that.

“If I’m Marty McFly, does that make you Jennifer?” he asked all of a sudden, which sort of ruined the fantasy playing out in Jeremy’s mind.

“What?” the last thing he wanted was more questions, but Michael leaned in even closer and put his lips to a different use. Jeremy might have had to deal with another question, but he just got an answer that he had been wanting to hear since freshman year and he really couldn’t complain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, there you have it. Feel free to message me on tumblr at space-age-bachelor and tell me whether you were right or not.


End file.
